The late day sun teetered on the mountain
Long shadows had enveloped the land
Creatures afraid of the glare would emerge
Drawn from their burrows by the call of night
Hunters and hunted in the same bleak space

I had driven miles in barren desert
Yet the road stretched longer in front of me
Into the descending twilight and past
What had once been sweet music was grown old
Beset by boredom, I slouched in the seat
White lines beckoned me to the unconscious
It would be so easy to drift off now
Fade to gentle, friendly, welcoming sleep

Then appeared in my mirror a new something
I had not passed a car in hours, nor none me
But now one came hard – welcome, ominous
At long last life, here where life was so sparse.
It slipped to the lane less travelled to pass
I eyed the sleek lines, its sporting body
The fading sun caught its chrome and I blinked
How fresh it seemed, more so next to my own
How pristine the paint, no telltale aging,
Wheel wells and running boards unstained by rust
There were no scratches, no dents from old wars
No exhaust hanging limp from the chassis
Everything was tight, aligned, perfect.

I reveled dreamingly in its slipstream
Yet, I could not let it pass so lightly
Asking more speed, I refused its leaving
I was hard astern, then even, surging
Inadequacies forgotten briefly
Until the moment of comparison
The stark contrast between plain and sublime
The difference `tween passion and comfort
Mine a symbol of a too long dullness
My clumsy, square design embarrassed me
Aerodynamically flawed, resisting
The winds of change had left me well behind
A relic from a getting, guzzling age
So removed from the elegance I chased.

I had to look closer, to see inside
I drifted to that end, gaping, ogling
Heedless of the great speed we were reaching
Startled, it pulled away, nearer the edge
I followed, mindless of my position
Then, seeing fear, lurched back to my own path
For my sight had distorted my vision
I saw distance, but nothing close to me.
Braking hard, the car fell far to the rear
I could only see looking where I’d been
No matter, the road ahead meant little
I had seen roads like this so many times
They were all the same, all bound for nowhere.

And this was no usual reflection.
But what I had wanted, had dared to hope
A handsome object, a youthful presence
A way with the road so easy, so free
All that mine had never been, and was not
“Two travelers in a vast, antique land”
If not drawn mutually, then by need
“No hand to mock us, no cold, wrinkled lip”
Just the other to guard against hazards,
Dangers of journey in desolate times
The voyager behind must feel the same
For having grown accustomed to my pace
Had settled in to let me show the way.

Yet so far I was losing close contact
I slowed and the car nervously approached
Even the refracted image stunned me
I had not seen more radiant features
The look was future, the beauty timeless
Closer and closer, I slowed even more
Now watching seemed pale, I wanted to touch
I wanted to feel, to know what it was like
To merge, to reach for a moment or more,
The thrill of brushing against my dreams
To know my exhaustion would have support
Closer still, soon we would meld into one
I could feel the heat now, sense the power
Soon we would ride together, back to front,
Locked in some odd, risky, moving embrace
A queer sight in a straight and narrow land
Gently, slowly, that’s it, soon now, yes, soon.

And then it pulled so desperately back
We would have to start all over again
But one look told me that would never be.
The car had a different air to it
Sadder now, it lacked its earlier drive
Tired of games, hung in resignation
As if I would never let it go by
In a flickering try, it flashed its lights
A plea to be on its intended way.

Belatedly, I shook off my stupor
What wild fancy had brought me to this place?
Where common sense gave way to nonsense
Where wishes overrode reality
Where passion made license for selfishness
Where I could lay me down and bleed awhile.

Of course it wanted to get by, well by
It was only me who thought otherwise.
I should have been a fellow traveler
Shared a stretch of time and road, waved perhaps,
A moment’s easing of common concerns
The same course to distinct destinations.

I pulled over to the shoulder and slowed
A tap on the horn and a wary look
My latest former dream sped to the past
I watched until dust and shadows took hold
As in the well-warned end they always do.

Paul Heno 2002

Copyright © 2002 Paul Heno