Not since Monty Python took down its laugh shingle in 1983 after the release of The Meaning of Life has so much absurdity been gathered in one room. The difference being that Monty Python was trying to be funny while Donald Trump’s latest attempt at aggrandizement, the newly formed Board of Peace, does so unwittingly, or rather half-wittingly.
Though just in its infancy, the ironically named Board of Peace (BOP) has already inspired spinoffs. The Taliban has launched the Board of Books with directors from the Catholic Church, Moms for Liberty, the MAGA movement, and the United Conservative Party of Alberta. Honorary past members include the Harper Valley PTA and Torquemada.
Then there is the popular Board of TV Heroes. Among its prominent members are Jim Rockford’s buddy, Angel, Major Frank Burns, Jed Clampett’s banker, Milburn Drysdale and everyone’s white knight in a fire, George Constanza.
BOP founder Donald Trump, real estate flimflam man, sucker of Benjamim Netanyahu’s cock, invader of Venezuela, bomb, bomb, bomber of Iran, starver of Cuba, browbeater of Greenland, catalyst of the January 06, 2021 attempt to overthrow the government of the United States, leader of the Praetorian Guard ICE, and all round, egotistical cunt, has been called upon to take up the mantle of peace, to release the doves, to steal the Nobel Peace Prize, to replace the United Nations, and to shine his ever loving light on you. In keeping with his humble nature, Trump designated himself as chairman for life. Consistent with his plans for the 2028 US presidential elections, he is not subject to term limits and has sole authority to nominate Jared Kushner his successor.
To his credit, Trump has assembled the who’s who from the pantheon of the generous, the selfless, the meek, the peacemakers, the Nobel candidates. Vladimir Putin, warmonger, assassin of dissenters, antagonist of the gay and lesbian community, and shitty hockey player is a founding member.
Benjamin Netanyahu, professional liar, Zionist racist, mass murderer, genocidal maniac and one of history’s most obnoxious pricks, signed up early.
Then there’s Viktor Orban, Prime Minister of Hungary, defender of good Christian traditional values, hater of gays, compulsive censor, supporter of Russia, opponent of Ukraine, and darling of right-wing politicians that include Marine Le Pen, Benjamin Netanyahu, Javier Milei, and Stephen Harper.
Saudi Arabia, represented by Mohammed Bin Salman (MBS), is also an early adopter. The newest smiling face of one of the most repressive regimes in the world, sanctioned the killing of Saudi dissident and author, Jamal Khashoggi. Under MBS, executions in Saudia Arabia are at an all-time high. MBS lops off heads a religious dictatorship that suppresses women, kills dissidents, and quashes minorities. But that doesn’t stop him from mingling in ordinary society.
MBS, and his money, have purchased sports organizations, individual athletes, comedians, and musicians, all in an attempt to acquire respectability. Those he bought justify their greed by asserting that the only way to bring change is through engagement. Engagement has worked so well in China, India, Russia, and Myanmar so why not Saudi Arabia?
Maybe because when you’re so filthy rich, you don’t give a fuck what others think. There are enough people for sale that you can safely ignore the rest. Having shown that money talks and principle walks, MBS will be a valued member of the Board. As well as he knows Trump, he should be able to buy his way to a vice-presidency. And what a foul terrific VP he would be!
Honorary members of the BOP include A. Hitler, B. Mussolini, J. Stalin, F. Franco, P. Pot, I. Amin, C. Taylor, J. Kony, R. D’Aubuisson and A. Pinochet.
There is a host of other countries in the BOP, most authoritarian, many with questionable to atrocious human rights records. Fortunately for the world, these countries or individuals with warlike leanings will be kept in check by the sterling BOP board of directors.
Leading this gallery of executive luminaries is, to paraphrase Canadian folk singer, Stan Rogers, ‘’the scummiest vassal I’ve ever seen,’’ slum landlord, Jared Kushner. Besides being sanctioned for charging tenants excessive fees and not maintaining the properties he owned in the U.S., Kushner exported his nefarious business practices to foreign fields.
Using the power vested in him by his daddy-in-law, Kushner uses his office and influence as a foreign affairs envoy to pad the family bank account with sweet development projects in countries eager to curry favor with the crooked Trump. The two not so little piggies also have plans for a massive construction project featuring seaside resorts in Gaza, which contrary to what they believe, doesn’t belong to them. Other people’s money, other people’s land.
Also ready to scoop up some of the profits that will be up for bid in Gaza once the Arabs are removed and their land stolen, is longtime Trump, willing to turn a blind eye to blatant cheating, golfing buddy and thoroughly unqualified Middle East envoy, real estate mogul, Steve Witkoff.
The comedy team of Kushner and Witkoff was assigned as back channel Middle Eastern envoys tasked with lining its pockets resolving all the troubles in the region from Gaza to Iran. Despite being entirely untrained, unfit, and unsuited for such a role, Kushner and Witkoff have achieved results in Gaza and in Iran the likes of which the region has never seen.
Along for the ride is Tony Blair, former Prime Minister of Britain, failed Middle East envoy, consultant sans pareil to autocratic regimes in Africa and silent partner of the proposed Trump Arab Free Resort and Cuntry Club on the coast of Gaza. Once an American toady, always an American toady.
Given the history of Britain as key enabler of the Zionist movement in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, its leading role in the imposition of artificial and conflictive boundaries in the Middle East after World War I, its paving the way to a Jewish state on land that it knew would have to be stolen to accommodate that state, the abandonment of Palestinian rights guaranteed under its own Balfour Declaration of 1917, its complete abdication of responsibility to the Palestinian Arabs in 1948, which led directly to the tragic creation of the tribal state of Israel and subsequent displacement and murder of hundreds of thousands of Palestinian Arabs, its 1953 overthrow, along with the Americans, of the democratically elected Iranian government, and its attempt to seize control of the Suez Canal in 1956, you would think that any Brit with even an inkling of shame would feel disqualified to offer further advice to the non-Jewish population of the region. The Blair Snitch Project.
The Board of Peace is to unity what the Cone of Silence was to secrecy. Despite its lofty, purposefully misleading name, the BOP is not about peace itself, rather the business of peace, an ignoble sequel of the Marshall Plan, a scheme not designed to help countries recover from war, rather concocted to help rich individuals get even richer. For Trump and his acolytes, it’s the continuing embezzlement of public money even while denouncing government bureaucracy as a burden to business.
It may not be too late to do something with the members of the BOP. Since they are already gathered in one room, a simple renaming, or revised mission statement, might salvage the group. How does Motherfuckers for Money sound? Or the Covenant of Cunts Coveting Countries? The League of the Red Necked Men?
Whatever the title, it seems a shame to let these miscreants go their separate ways, at least not before a hot brew of tar and feathers drops from the ceiling.
Paul Heno March 2026
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